


you say i'm a bad liar, i say you're a bad truther

by paintngoldtrash



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Character Reflection, Neil's POV, Other, Vague character death, abstract? in a way, everything is veeeeeeeery vague, i just finished reading the second book like, idk - Freeform, idk how to explain that ull see when u read it, it implies that andrew is dead but doesnt rly implicitly state that, kind of implied? but can be read any way u want, no real relationships, no real tws that i know?, riko is only barely mentioned and never by name, semi-first person semi-second person, so u can read it however u want, thirty mins ago lmao, vague implied abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 01:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12201198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintngoldtrash/pseuds/paintngoldtrash
Summary: I’m so scared of him, I can’t do anything but run now. I’m sorry, I really am. I’m not even sure what you expect of me now. I’m not sure what you’d say if you saw me. I don't think I’d want you to.





	you say i'm a bad liar, i say you're a bad truther

I never wanted it to go this far, really. I didn't anticipate any of this shit; I thought that maybe, somewhere within him, was a soul, and that he could (and would, with prompting) become “good” again. I’m too much of an optimist. I know you don't believe me; I wouldn't believe me either. 

 

I thought I had everything under control. I was able to suspend disbelief in myself- perhaps I ended up arrogant instead. I keep thinking maybe one morning I’ll wake up back in that airport, before I got on the plane, and everything that has happened would end up being nothing but a terrible fever dream, but despite how much I wish that to be true, every morning is the same old shit. 

 

I know you told me before to focus on the game, but I don't think I can anymore. I’m so scared of him, I can’t do anything but run now. I’m sorry, I really am. I’m not even sure what you expect of me now. I’m not sure what you’d say if you saw me. I don't think I’d want you to. 

 

I miss you, I think, and it’s weird, because I never knew anyone enough to miss them. No one except my mother, really. I wish you were here. Even just to see you- it’d be nice. You could beat my face in for being overly sentimental and I’d know my place again. Sentiments misguided. Isn't that what you always said? 

 

God, I miss you. If I could give anything to see you for one minute… It would be so wonderful to just be able to see your face again. Not even hug you- you never were the ‘hug’ type- but to see you. 

 

I guess, if you believe in heaven, I may one day. Or, if anything, we can be cell buddies in hell. I don't know anymore. 

 

I miss you. 

 

_ Love, Neil. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I'd love some feedback if you could!


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